Breaking the silence.

About a year ago I was a full on geek and an avid gamer. I loved all the geek events and there was not a game I played that I did not enjoy. 

But it was not the games, it was not the fandoms, it was the people that I loved. 

It was being in the company of friends,  just hanging around, being together, sharing things that interested us. 

Sure we sometimes played games in dingy or uncomfortable places and yes we had to go to loud, overcrowded, people filled con events but it was okay, we were hanging out with friends. We put up with that for a few hours every now and again for the chance to be with friends. 

Then one of the guys decided to start a purely geek/gaming club. I was excited, ecstatic, over the moon. Finally a place where I could be with my friends that was not dingy, was not full of jocks. A place for us. A home for those of us who only had a house. 

But then something went wrong.  

I am not sure what it was. I don't know the details but friends turned on friends and unfortunately my friend who was starting the gaming club appeared to be at the center of it all. It became ugly. My entire Internet was just full of nastiness. I could not take it and I left the Internet. I defriended everyone and I closed down all my social accounts. 

A month later I stuck my head out to take a look around. Some of the nastiness had quietened down, a couple of my friends had moved on but not everyone. I left again. 

Another month later I returned a little to the Internet. Most of the Internet had returned to normal but not all of it. 

I sandboxed those that seemed to not be able to move on and returned slowly to the Internet. 

While this was going on, I still played some games, still visited some friends, still lived my life. 

But it was not the same. 

On a slightly different note. 

It was at about this time I was becoming more and more disillusioned with how the licensed holders of the various gaming systems conducted their style of business. They sunset their older gaming pieces and bring out new pieces in such a way that it forces you to continue buying to stay competitive. It was becoming more and more expensive just to keep playing the games. 

One of the other problems of serious gaming, well serious anything, if you want to be good, you have to put in the time. A lot of time. 

Time and money. 

This brings us to now. 

I am not finding pleasure in gaming anymore. It is bringing me very little joy. 

The time and money I am spending on games and geek things are not making me happy nor improving my world. There is no net gain.  

The time has come for a change. 

I still enjoy being with my fiends, especially when we are outside chilling, Braai'ing, hiking or doing non-competitive, non-continuous time consuming stuff. 

Unfortunately I can't live in my friend's pockets forcing everyone to do nothing but stare at their belly-buttons contemplating the universe. 

To cut short (way to late for that) a very long story. 

I love nature and I want to spend my free time in it as much as possible. 

Being an introvert, I like people but only for a short while in small burst before I collapse in on myself. 

I want to try something new and I think camping may be it. 

Like a Phoenix, can death bring new growth?

About five years ago my best friend died. 

About 4 years ago a good friend and coworker died. 

Death always has a profound affect on our lives. 

It changes us in ways we may suspect at the time but never fully realize until much later, if we are lucky. Sometimes we may never realize. 

My best friend had a philosophy, one that many people may think as either stupid or short sighted. She believed that the point of earning a salary, of having a job was to enable you to do those things you want to do. To enjoy life. Why save your money or time, you can't take it with you. 

And she was right, she could not take it with her. 

Sure, you may say you are saving for your children's education, or for a new house or whatever. And you are correct, for you those may very well be worthy goals. But she never had any children and she did not need to save for retirement as she did not live beyond 34. 

She believed in living in the moment, living every moment to its fullest. 

Which brings me to me, to myself. What am I doing with my life? 

What do I do on my weekend?

I play games. Computer games. Board games. Miniature games. 

I sit in my room and watch TV series. Read books. Surf the Internet. 

Do I enjoy doing these things?

Sure. 

If I were to die tomorrow and it were possible for me to look back on my life, would I regret the things I did and the things I did not do?

The answer is very simple, yes. 

Now I am not saying I want to save the world, heal humanity. 

What I am saying is that sitting at home, reading a book indoors, playing a computer game, surfing the Internet is not the last thing I want to have done. 

If I were to choose my last memory, my last activity, it would not be most of what I have been doing up until now. 

I would rather be sitting under a tree, reading a book, watching the sun set over a lake while quietly sipping a refreshing drink. 

The only question that remains is ... 

Would I be there because I am always there, camping next to the lake 

or because I had booked a rondawel at my favorite Kruger Park camp for a long weekend

or because had been working for six months and I was spending a little time at a time share. 

Camping?

Ever since my long weekend away in the Kruger Park a couple of months ago I have been slowly coming to the conclusion that I no longer want to spend my weekends at home or even near home (5km).

I think I want to take up camping.

Nothing big or special or expensive. Just simple camping an hour or so away from home each Friday or Saturday evening. 

Magaliesburg, Suikerbosrand, fountains valley. 
Places just around the corner.

Those of you belonging to the Geek Hiking Club will have an idea of the sort of spots I think I may be interested in.

Now I have never really been camping, not in a big way, so I am not sure if I am going to enjoy such a pastime but I know I am not enjoying what I am doing now and something has to change.

I thought that a clever idea would be to borrow a friends equipment to give it a try, see if I like it. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I would hate the experience when using a friends equipment. I would, feel restricted, worried etc.

So I am looking for simple, basic, cheap camping equipment to give this a try.

For the first month I could properly waste R1875 in a tent, bed, sleeping bag etc. so obviously I am not going for the fancy stuff. Then if I like it, I can upgrade as I go along and if I don't like it, I won't be out all that much. Either way, I will have a couple of basic camping things.

I already have chairs and table that would suit for a test camp. I also have a nice portable gas braai and picnic basket and all. In other words, I have about half the basics I would need for a test run.

So what do you think of this idea? 
Thoughts, suggestions?
Are you interested in trying it out or if you are a camper already, coming along to laugh at the newbie?

Running out of Internet

Due to a slight mis-calculation on the amount of Internet I use monthly, I ran out of data for my data bundle. 

Yes, I know everyone says get ASDL or uncapped or whatever but none of those options are mobile. I want my Internet fast and I want it now, not after I find a hotspot, work out the password, wait twenty years for a video to download. 

I want to whip my device out, press a button and have streaming Internet, video and music at speeds that are as close to instant as possible. 

Anyway, that is not what this post is really about. I thought I would discuss my thoughts on not having instant Internet for a week, in fact not having Internet anywhere but at my desk at the office. 

It was yucky. It was boring. It was not how I enjoy my life. 

Now don't go thinking I am an Internet junkie that can't go without his fix for more than a few hours. I am not or at least I do not believe I am. 

What bugged me was not the inability to access my Facebook, Google or e-mail. I could, at the office. 

It was the other things, the weather update, the traffic apps, my news headline feeds. 

Oh but you say we used to get those before the Internet, we watched the weather on the TV we listened to the news headlines on the radio. 

Yes we did. 

I don't watch TV anymore. 

I don't listen to the radio anymore. 

I am no longer forced to follow and listen to what others think I should be made aware of, I am now free to choose. 

It is that freedom that the Internet and more specifically, mobile Internet has given me that I missed when unplugged. 

It is true that I don't have much Internet when I am vacationing in the Kruger Park, but I get the very basics, the background updates to keep me informed on routes, weather, news etc. 

That's all I want, to be plugged in, to be a part of the greater collective. 

a continuation of a comment from Facebook

I am never fake on the Internet. My main reason for posting my life on the Internet is to share myself and my interests with like minded people, or what I hear some people call, friends. 

I sometimes do odd or weird stuff, or stuff that may seem weird to others and I use the Internet to explain myself to you and truth be told, to myself sometimes. 

I used to create a lot of holiday videos for YouTube to try and show the world why I love the places I love. If you have had a chance to watch any of them http://www.youtube.com/themyst1971 you will notice I talk a lot and at the same time a lot of the video is of the drive to the holiday destination showing the landscape of this beautiful country and how it changes or the scenery activities in the area and very little me me actually doing. 

Facebook, and I suppose this blog, is a place for me to share myself with others without tying them down during their busy time. I mean, who really has the time to spend hours listening to me talk about what I think of the latest Harry Potter movie or my favorite new game/TV show/hobby. 

There are things I want to share with my friends, like my lack of a love interest etc but would be too embarrassed to raise the subject around the water cooler at the office. Facebook is perfect for it. My friends are my friends and just because they are also my work colleagues or manager makes them no less a friend, just a little harder to raise certain subjects with in certain environments.

I left Facebook for awhile because I did not know or care about most the friends I was sharing with. Now I only friend my friends and those I want to share my Real Life time with. If you are on my friends list, you are invited to visit me anytime at my home or even at my place of work. 

So obviously, if I want you in my real life, I am only going to share my real self here even though the part I share here may not nessary be the part you know of me. I hope in some small way, you may find an interesting post once in awhile, or read something you may not have known. If nothing else, I hope that I may inspire you to visit a new location you have never visited before, to fall in love with this country all over again. 

not The Beginning but a beginning

Over the years I have had many outlets for my writing. A Live journal account and before that a static web page. After that, Facebook and Google plus and in between the odd blog. Some of these outlets have lasted years. My live journal lasted over 10 years before I lost interest in its style as an outlet for my writing, as sad as it is.

.... and so here I am, once again starting another outlet. Will this one last? Of course not, nothing lasts forever and we all know googles love of sun-setting its apps.  So maybe this will outlast googles love of blogger or maybe google will beat me this time. It is an unknown but join me on this journey as we try to find out.

As this is my first post, perhaps a little about myself.
I am single.
Male.
Forty Three years old.
I am currently considered a semi decent computer programmer.
I love to travel but only to some places.
I love the African bush but from a luxury chalet not a rustic tent.

Things are changing in my life. The company I work for is currently undergoing a morph into something new, different. It has to. 

I am tired of being alone in everything I do. I still enjoy it but not all the time, always. 

Half my family have moved to Australia, the other half are getting married and having children. 

South Africa is not improving and our current government is not showing signs that it cares for its people.

Things are changing. Change is a nessesity. Change is a must. Change is happening all around me and I must embrace it and change, I must morph myself.

I just am not sure what I want to morph into.

Not yet.