Breaking the silence.

About a year ago I was a full on geek and an avid gamer. I loved all the geek events and there was not a game I played that I did not enjoy. 

But it was not the games, it was not the fandoms, it was the people that I loved. 

It was being in the company of friends,  just hanging around, being together, sharing things that interested us. 

Sure we sometimes played games in dingy or uncomfortable places and yes we had to go to loud, overcrowded, people filled con events but it was okay, we were hanging out with friends. We put up with that for a few hours every now and again for the chance to be with friends. 

Then one of the guys decided to start a purely geek/gaming club. I was excited, ecstatic, over the moon. Finally a place where I could be with my friends that was not dingy, was not full of jocks. A place for us. A home for those of us who only had a house. 

But then something went wrong.  

I am not sure what it was. I don't know the details but friends turned on friends and unfortunately my friend who was starting the gaming club appeared to be at the center of it all. It became ugly. My entire Internet was just full of nastiness. I could not take it and I left the Internet. I defriended everyone and I closed down all my social accounts. 

A month later I stuck my head out to take a look around. Some of the nastiness had quietened down, a couple of my friends had moved on but not everyone. I left again. 

Another month later I returned a little to the Internet. Most of the Internet had returned to normal but not all of it. 

I sandboxed those that seemed to not be able to move on and returned slowly to the Internet. 

While this was going on, I still played some games, still visited some friends, still lived my life. 

But it was not the same. 

On a slightly different note. 

It was at about this time I was becoming more and more disillusioned with how the licensed holders of the various gaming systems conducted their style of business. They sunset their older gaming pieces and bring out new pieces in such a way that it forces you to continue buying to stay competitive. It was becoming more and more expensive just to keep playing the games. 

One of the other problems of serious gaming, well serious anything, if you want to be good, you have to put in the time. A lot of time. 

Time and money. 

This brings us to now. 

I am not finding pleasure in gaming anymore. It is bringing me very little joy. 

The time and money I am spending on games and geek things are not making me happy nor improving my world. There is no net gain.  

The time has come for a change. 

I still enjoy being with my fiends, especially when we are outside chilling, Braai'ing, hiking or doing non-competitive, non-continuous time consuming stuff. 

Unfortunately I can't live in my friend's pockets forcing everyone to do nothing but stare at their belly-buttons contemplating the universe. 

To cut short (way to late for that) a very long story. 

I love nature and I want to spend my free time in it as much as possible. 

Being an introvert, I like people but only for a short while in small burst before I collapse in on myself. 

I want to try something new and I think camping may be it.