For a moment I thought that he was released from hospital. I remembered him saying how he was intending to attend. Then I remembered I had not seen an update of him being released.
No matter. He was getting better. How could he not be. He was young, strong. He had his family and friends around him, supporting him.
Never mind.
Pity he won't be at this year's rAge, but there are other events for him to attend later this month, later this year.
And there is always next year for rAge.
I smiled, and got ready to visit friends and family.
It was later in the day, sitting around the pool, chatting, Braai'ing.
I had just taken a few photos and was busy uploading them to FaceBook.
I noticed a post by a friend and while my photos were uploading, kids laughing in the background I decided to do a quick read. What could it hurt?
It was 32c and what I read turned my blood ice cold.
Jex had past away.
I could not think. Could not believe what I read. I must have mis-read it. I started surfing FaceBook earnestly, searching, seeking.
The poster was wrong. Other friends were carring on with their life.
My photos eventually finished uploading and the sun was a warm comfort as I checked that everything had uploaded correctly.
There was another post.
And another.
As I read, I realized, Jex had really died.
I could not understand what I was reading.
--------------
It is now Sunday evening.
I am numb.
I have spent most of the day trying to understand what has happened.
It makes no sense to me.
I have always been told that the young are stronger,
Those who have friends and family that love them,
The fighters will always pull through.
How can such a vibrant strong man be taken so easily.
I don't understand.
It makes no sense.
I am 44 years old. Not that old.
Five years ago a friend, a co-worker had died in a motorbike accident. It happens. It is painfully, heart wrenchingly painful. But it happens.
A couple of months later a friend past away. No, my best friend had died.
Suddenly.
In the emergency hospital room from asthma.
I didn't understand.
I still don't understand.
How can healthy young people just die.
As I grow older, as I loose friends, I am finding there is less and less of me left behind.
And I don't understand.
None of it makes any sense.
I am going to miss Jex as I still miss all those that have left.
Death is a natural part of existence.
People grow old, have accidents, go to war.
This I know.
This I expect.
This I understand.
This is life.
But when all the odds are stacked in our favor.
Youth,
family,
good doctors,
Modern science.
When all that is still not enough.
Each passing rips a piece of my soul apart.
And I miss them.
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